A Perfect Storm of Dogs

Really, I can't come up with a worse combination of dogs than the one I have now. If you have any desire to lose your hearing, feel free to stop by, the barking is nothing less than spectacular.

I have Tessie and until yesterday I had Jinx. Neither of these dogs comes with an OFF switch. Jinx barks all the time and when Tessie is not barking, she is jumping straight up and down. Which of course, just makes all the other dogs bark.

Tessie's barking has been a problem from day one. The only time she stops barking at the dogs that are playing is when I throw a toy for her. She doesn't bring them back so I try to load up and keep throwing them. Her constant barking at dogs that are wrestling is like a circle of people yelling, "Fight! Fight!", it just isn't going to lead to anything good.

But Tessie comes here all the time and frankly me and most of the dogs are just plain used to her.

Well this weekend, between Tessie's leaping and Jinx's yipping was Keisha, barking right along with them. Then the Glitter Twins showed up, Jasmine and Jake. Two yellow labs that no one wants to play with because just one of them is too much playing. Tessie's constant motion has the puppies in a frenzy and Keisha is revving up right along with them.

If you watch the Dog Whisperer, he always talks about the 'energy' level of the dogs. Let's just say that this much barking and jumping, the energy level in the kennel is at 11. And high energy in dogs is, frankly, unstable. So I have a full kennel of fur covered nitro...one wrong touch and this place is going to blow.

When I first let the dogs out into the play yard, the energy is at its highest and worst. Sometimes they shoot out of their gate like madmen. Diesel had a problem with this. He has calmed down since, but at first I would let him out, lock him on the far side of the play yard and let him run it off for 5 or 10 minutes before letting him in with the other dogs. If I just let him out into a crowd he would being playing but at such an intensity that to the other dogs, it would be an attack.

So, the trick to defusing this situation is first, who can play with who, and second, in what order can you let them out.

I have all these nutty dogs and some of them are of the extra large variety. I have to say that I am mostly focused on Cai, the Irish Wolfhound and on Maki, the Mastidor (Mastif-Labrador). Maki is clearly not used to being the SMALL dog in the pile. Maki was really getting picked on fir a while. Keisha on one side, Cai on the other, when Jinx darts in a bites her on the ankle. Now, Maki doesn't even see Jinx, who is the size of a pound of butter. He thinks Keisha did it and growls at her. "Break it up, break it up, everyone back in their own rooms". First things first, Jinx is not coming out anymore.

I was thinking that the puppies, who are a perfect match for Maki might also do well with Cai. Everything just might work out. Nope.

Let out Cai, let Bella out but not Jinx, let out Keisha, get the tennis racket to defend myself, let out the puppies and Maki, let out Tessie last as she HAS to go in everyone kennel if she is let out sooner.

I am so worried about the big and bouncy, that I total missed the girls working themselves into a tizzy. Of all the dogs, it was Keisha and Tessie that went at it. Looked bad, sounded worse, no marks on either of them.

Okay lets try again.

Let out Cai, let Bella out but not Jinx, get the tennis racket to defend myself, let out Jake and leave Jasmine in the kennel obsessing over Tessie, let out Maki and try to keep her off me, let out Tessie last. Stuff them all on the other side while trying to keep Jake and Maki off me.

Latch the divider gate for the play yard and let out Keisha and Jasmine.

Spend playtime throwing balls to get Tessie to stop barking and fencing with a tennis racket to defend my personal space from Keisha and Jasmine.

I just keep asking myself...so, when are they all going home?

Happy to Come! Happy to Go! That is what we like to see at the Ranch!

I love that dogs run down to the kennel, dragging their owners the whole long way.

I love to see how excited they are to see their owner's again, no matter how short the stay was.

Today, I am just going to be so happy to see them all go home. Just as happy as I was to see them all arrive. They have been a fun and happy group, a bit barky, but that is just to be expected. It is just that the level of physical abuse heaped on me has passed 'beyond the call of duty' and into the realm of 'cruel and unusual punishment'. Ugh.

I explained about Maki and her fist of steel. I can't keep this dog off me to save my own life. Not for lack of trying, mind you. I can't get out of petting her. So I try to keep her paws off me as best I can. Unfortunately, she leans into me when I pet her. Maki has a unique ability to shove my kneecaps off the front of my legs. Ouch.

Then there is Blue. He tries to sneak in a petting or two when I am working on Maki. Blue is a bit mouthy - he tends to put his teeth on my hands. That is a no-no in my book. So he has been getting the Dog Whisperer - tisshhh and a touch. This is actually working on him.

Midori, Midori, Midori...speed and stealth are her weapons. She can nail me with a flying leap of love and be gone before I have ever even see her. What is really unfortunate is that she has an uncanny knack for landing her leap directly on my bruise. Double Ouch!

Diesel usually only hits me on his way out of his kennel. I try to let other dogs out first so he will focus his "shot out of the gate" energy on someone who can take it. It doesn't always work.

The others, Whiskey and Sadie, have not come in direct contact with me all weekend.

Maki, Maki, Maki

If loving you was just much less painful.

Maki is my one and only Mastidore - half Mastiff, half Lab.

So she is big, her paws are huge.
She is playful, that is the lab.
She is determined and a bit pushy, that is the Mastiff.
And she is the most confident and secure dog on the planet.

Let me explain.

When not running and wrestling with all the other dogs, Maki wants loving. She will demand it by jumping up on me, or just putting her paw on me. Getting a love tap from Maki is comparable to being hit by a velvet covered brick. I keeping putting her paws down while I launch into 'ear nuggies', 'collar scratchings' and her favorite 'rub the fuzzy butt'. (You can win over any dogs with these three maneuvers.) But this is never enough for Maki, all petting sessions end in her stretched out on the ground awaiting a tummy rub. I am a bit hesitant to drop to the ground with this many big and bouncy dogs just waiting to include me in the wrestling. But not Maki. As I start in, all the other dogs show up. Sniffing and smelling, even stepping over Maki. It takes a very secure dog to stay in the most vulnerable of positions and let other dogs sniff them. Maki is only mad because I can't keep rubbing in the middle of a dog pile.

I thought I was going to die.

This morning, I was having a nice first playtime of the day. The dogs were all having a blast and I wasn't freezing. It was gray and dreary, but clearly into the double digit temperatures.

I spotted a kestrel coming in low over the play yard and was watching for where it landed in my back yard. I rarely get to see one that up close. When out of the corner of my eye, did I spot Maki, Smokey, Paco and Buddy coming straight at me, shoulder to shoulder like the four doggies of the Apocalypse.

Maki veered off at the last moment and they never even touched me.

Maki is a big girl, and a rough and tumble kind of a a girl, and she is having no problem keeping up and even beating my 'wild boys', but at least she remembers her manners.



I guess it is not true about your life flashing before your eyes - maybe I would have found out where I left my cell phone.

If you have a bad habit, please don't pass it on!

Boozer likes to scratch up the dirt and fling his poop when he is finished. This is a pain for me. Flung poop is much harder to retrieve in its entirety. Plus, the last thing I need is more of my play yard turned into dust. We finally had some rain and the dust turned back into dirt. The basic running and chasing will turn it back into a dust bowl in no time, Boozer, don't help it along!


And really, did you have to teach the technique to Flip, Sassy, Hank and Maki?