Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Mary, Mother of God! Save Me From People Who Don't Train Their Dogs!

Oh my God! What is with all the badly behaved dogs lately! twelve bucks a day is just not enough for me to be used as a punching bag. It is not like my balance was ever very good, but now that I have a 20 pound basketball hovering behind my navel, I can fall over on my own without any help from over sized and under trained dogs.

I have pointed out in the past that charging extra for big dogs is the biggest scam that exists in dog boarding. Big dogs are, as a rule, easier to care for that little dogs. People teach their big dogs to 'come' and to 'sit' but it seems that one bothers to work on their Shitzus. It is always something the size of a loaf of bread that I end up chasing around the play yard until I catch them and toss them back into their run.

Not this month.

Once again I am faced with a a dog that weighs somewhere around 120 pounds and is completely without any manners. JJ knocked the tar out of my dog sitter until she brought her husband over to manhandle him into some obedience training. Thank You! By the time I got home he wasn't ricocheting me into the fencing, but he was still bolting out the gate. There is just something spectacularly painful about being whacked with a metal gate when the temperature is in the single digits. Only followed by the muscle wrenching involved in making a stubborn Labrador, collar set too big, get back into his kennel.

I have the sore arms to prove I did in fact muscle him into that run and the satisfaction of seeing him walk in, most times, when asked now.

I pay the mortgage, I get to be top dog.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I thought I was going to die.

This morning, I was having a nice first playtime of the day. The dogs were all having a blast and I wasn't freezing. It was gray and dreary, but clearly into the double digit temperatures.

I spotted a kestrel coming in low over the play yard and was watching for where it landed in my back yard. I rarely get to see one that up close. When out of the corner of my eye, did I spot Maki, Smokey, Paco and Buddy coming straight at me, shoulder to shoulder like the four doggies of the Apocalypse.

Maki veered off at the last moment and they never even touched me.

Maki is a big girl, and a rough and tumble kind of a a girl, and she is having no problem keeping up and even beating my 'wild boys', but at least she remembers her manners.

I guess it is not true about your life flashing before your eyes - maybe I would have found out where I left my cell phone.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

If I Could Have Your Attention


To: All Doggies
Re: Moratorium on Kissing

Due to the unanticipated inclement weather, all dog kisses are now banded from December to the end of February. Some additional portions of both November and March will fall under this new regulation and will be announced when necessary, but without additional notice.

Thank You,

Aunt Erica
The Management

Maybe it is just that dogs don't get the concept of frostbite, but I can really do without dog spit on my face when the temperatures drop into the single digits.

Or perhaps, it is just because they can't read.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Instant Friends!

Just open gate and mix!

Right Way, Wrong Way, Side Ways....

It really doesn't matter as long as I am on top!

Definitly a WHITE Weekend, But Also a BLACK and BLUE One.

OW-CHA! I am a collection of bruises held together by stiff muscles. I blame the sore muscles on all the snow shoveling, but the bruises are the work of Timber, Smokey and Paco.

I thought I was getting Smokey's jumping all over me under control. Actually, that was really wishful thinking on my part - that I could retrain that dog to not be a jumper in just a couple of days was really overly optimistic. It seemed to me that he was landing less blows, though I probably just got better at dodging them. All that went out the window with the introduction of Timber. Unbelievable as it may seem, he is a smaller dog, yet a bigger bouncer than Smokey. OUCH!

Then Paco arrived, just as big as Smokey and just as ill mannered.

Now that there were three of them, they didn't even try to contain themselves.

I tried blocking them with my knee - they were on to that pretty quickly. Soon, every raised knee hit a shin or a shoulder bone and never a soft chest. I was getting the negative reinforcement more than they were. Then, I tried just putting my hand to their necks, ala Dog Whisperer. That worked pretty well to deflect them until my hand started hitting shoulder bones instead of necks. I learn my lesson pretty quickly that time, too.

Well, at least one of us is trainable.