I just love the fall

With the shortening of the days, I get to watch the sunrise (spectacular yesterday - hot pink clouds that changed to blaze orange) and get to see the milkway at night (except for Wednesday, it was way too windy and cold, so I made my husband put the dogs to bed.)

I am just waiting for all the popular trees to turn golden yellow. We really have the prettiest falls I have ever seen.

But along with all this beauty comes my least favorite part of fall - my kids brought home the very first grade school disease of the week. (Now, where did I leave that box of tissues?)

Doggie Heaven

I got some bad news this week when I ran into some old clients; two of my regular doggie clients have died this summer. We lost Ender and Maxwell, who I liked to call Maxwell Smart.

I have a growing collection of clothes pins with the names of dogs that have died. I miss them all but I am sure they are having a great time in doggie heaven. I am quite sure that in dog heaven everyone gets their own couch, the tennis balls all taste like filet mignon, and the squirrels are all fat and slow.

Whenever we finally show up, they will be waiting for thier tummy rubs and ear nuggies.

I have been MILLIE-ed.

I was just not prepared for that much love from a Weimaraner. No one really is.

She put her paws on my shoulders, pinning me to my chair and started to lick my whole face. I couldn't squeeze in a "No, Millie!" Well I could have, but from experience I know that telling her 'No' will cost me a french kiss. (Let me warn you - it is actually worse than you can imagine)

She licked my face, licked my hat off, licked my glasses until I couldn't see and then licked them right off my face. In the struggle to get her off me, she stepped on my glasses. I, finally, make it to my feet.

Triumph!
Not quite, I have a dog spit covered face, bent glasses, and no hat.

I tracked down my hat just as Tessie was poised to shred it. She had the back in her mouth and was stepping on the visor; the next sound I was about to hear was it turning into two dog toys.

It cost me stepping in dog poop, but I got my hat back!

TRIUMPH!
It is the same sensation of accomplishment, I get when I out smart my toddlers.

I overslept and woke up to WINTER!

I swear it was September when I went to bed. I must have been really tired.

It is a bit barky on the far end of the kennel.

Jasmine is in heat and Seven is pregnant.

We have an ugly case of dueling hormones at the ranch this week.

Second CHANCES?

I thought 'Chance' was such a unique name, until my second 'Chance' arrived within a week of the my first 'Chance'.


If this trend keeps up I am going to have to google the lyrics to Chances Are and Take A Chance On Me. So far I can only remember the refrains.

I only sing at church and the dog kennel - they are not allowed to complain at me in church and the dogs obviously have excellent hearing but are completely tone deaf.

I guess I am not the only one watching and waiting for the kids to come home from school.

Camera Shy

This is Chance. I was just trying to get a photo of her collar when I determined she is afraid of the camera.


I got these shots when she wasn't looking.

Gee, I have gone over to the dark side - Doggie Paparazzi.

Pup-arazzi!

Maybe a bit too much Project Runway for me...

...but Roxy got a new collar and it is fabulous!



High fashion for me is any clothes that don't have dog spit on them.

Dressed for the Races

It looks like Chance came dressed for our Nas-Dog races with her checkerflag collar. We just need Tessie to show up. Tessie is the Official Pace-Dog of the Yawning Dog Ranch Nas-Dog Races.

It's fun to make new friends....

Getting to know you,
Getting know all about you.
Getting like you,
Getting to hope you like me.













Getting to know you,
Getting to feel free and easy
When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say



















Haven't you noticed
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy?
Because of all the beautiful and new
Things I'm learning about you
Day by day.



Maybe this is not what Rogers and Hammerstein had in mind with that song.

Can I go home now?

Regardless of what you have heard...the grass is greener on the other side of the gate.


And if I stand here long enough, my parents will come back for me.

Yes, there really is such a thing as TOO MUCH LOVE.

Thanks boys, but I am a big girl and I can wash my own ears.

Does this stuff happen to Superman?

That is it! I tried to be the hero and what thanks do I get? Peed on by my Dachshund-In-Distress.

Little Toby was getting a WEE bit too much attention from Yanni (I call him Yawny, but Yippy would be more acturate) and Flip. This behavior crossed the fine line of play and domination well into the relm of doggie sexual harassment; so I had to step in.

Oh I stepped in it alright.

There I am, valently trying to defend Toby's virture. I scoop up the Dachshund and try to head to his kennel. Toby once again decides that he is SO HAPPY to see me, that he just has to give me a little something. (Really, Toby anymore thanks from you and I will run out of uniform shirts) Flip thinks I look good with my new accessory and latches onto my leg. Now, I am still trying to cross the play yard to Toby's gate - one wiggly football in my arms and on horney pit bull on my left leg. (A video of this might win that $10,000) I make it, I am there, I get the gate open (He has to have the one kennel that really locks tight) and I put him in. Safe, safe at last.


Nope. Toby shot right back out before I could close the gate and ran straight back to Flip.

Okay, so I am trying not to judge Toby's definition of fun. It certainly not fun for me. I have plenty of bruises to show Flip's affection.


So, without actually doing the math...since I only charge ten bucks a night, I think my shin is working at the two-bit pay scale.

The Infinite Varieties of Fetch

Your basic game of fetch should include a dog, a ball and a person. A perfect game of fetch includes a dog that brings the ball back to the person and gives the ball back to the person.

That is an amazing rare combination. I had a perfect game of fetch going with Bella, a black lab. A nice change of pace for me.

I have dogs that bring the ball but won’t give it back. That really shortens the time spent playing fetch – one throw and the game is over.

There are the dogs that get the ball and run off with it. They just want to be chased. Usually the dog that was SO interested in fetch can not find the ball once it is in the mouth of the dog that wants to be chased. This means no fetch, and no chase, and nobody is happy. My dogs have a spin on this game. Only Inertia will go after a ball, Vector doesn’t seem to see the point. Once Inertia has the ball, she proceeds to chase Vector while carrying the ball in her mouth. (Hey, I never said my dogs were normal)

Then there are the games of fetch where I get a workout as well as the dog. Returned to the General Vicinity of You. Mica is one of these, if she drops the ball within 10 feet of you, that is a successful return. So I get almost the same exercise as the dogs. And then there is Flip, he is very excited about the chase and grabbing the ball, but then he immediately drops the ball back where it landed. I don’t run across the play yard, stroll is my top speed, but this is still more involvement in the game of fetch than I signed up for.

The Dog Days of Summer

I know this time is called The Dog Days of Summer because of the appearance of the Dog Star, Sirius, in the night sky. But I always thought the phrase was a pretty apt description for how I spend my hot summer afternoons on the couch, usually with a dog, watching old movies.

But this summer's Dog Days has a new spin. Call it testosterone poisoning if you will, but the boys at the kennel are out of control. None of the male dogs will play anymore. No running, no chasing, no wrestling, no fetch - it is all humping or being humped and getting mad about it.

I would blame it on the heat, but we have actually cooled off here in Utah.

I just want the HOUND Dog Days of Summer to come to an end.

EEEK! A Snake!

That "EEEK!" that had to be heard all across the west side of Helper yesterday morning was me. We have Gopher Snakes around here. They are harmless unless you are a mouse. In the past I only would see them on Wednesdays. We used to get our irrigation water on Tuesdays and the flooded lower pasture is just no place for a snake. So must Wednesdays during the summer I would find one, most likely just as I was about to step on or over it.

I am not actually afraid of snakes (spiders, heights, and wind - yes, snakes - no). But it is the surprise factor of not having seen the thing until I am on top of it that causes me to screech like a little girl and do the 'ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod' dance.

Two days ago, my husband tried to stop me as I walked into the play yard. "EEEK!" There was a gopher snake headed the same direction sliding between the gate and its frame. He didn't take long to figure out that in front of a herd of barking dogs is no place for a snake and he headed back out through the fence. My husband was able to round up the kids for a look at the snake before he headed off into the orchard.

Yesterday, I was just finished cleaning up a couple of kennels and I opened the door to go out, I stoppped to pick up some dirty dishes to take them to the house. As I walked out the door I pushed the door shut behind me and something stopped the door. When I turned to give the door a good shove, I saw the snake. I had shut the door on him. Of course, having a door slammed on your stomach made the snake move very fast and into the kennel building.

"EEEK" and 'ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod' dance.

What am I going to do! I know, I'll get all the dogs out of the building by taking them out into the playyard - that will keep them safe!

Okay, calm down the dogs are not the ones that are in danger of the snake - leave the door open and the snake will leave.

Oh, yeah, that is a better idea.

Boy was that snake moving when he got outside the door.

And as he left, I yelled get back out in that field and deal with the mouse population! I hope he heard me.

Ouch!

In the course of running this kennel, I have been hit by dogs in the chest, the forehead, the cheek bone, the temple, the nose, my teeth, and a number of kidney and heart punchs. Just yesterday, I got that entire range from just Gunther. Gunther even came up with a new one, a dog nose punch to the boobie. At least I can say that my job does not suffer from 'the same old thing' every day.

Trying to pet Gunther is clearly a contact sport and giving ear-nuggies to his sister, Daisy, is almost as bad. Lucky for me, she happens to be a lot smaller, lighter and blessed with a bit more steering ability than Gunther.

Good thing I got that Workmen's Comp policy.

Are you sure it isn't September already?

Besides the emptiness of the kennel building, it has gotten pretty cold here in the mornings and evenings. I have had to break out my jean jacket at least a month earlier than normal.

Good thing though, jean jackets make excellent body armour against over excited, extra jumpy Labradors.