Monday, January 02, 2006

THIS IS NOT A DATING SERVICE! Get off that dog!

Someone must have done an analysis of mounting behavior in dogs; it just doesn’t make much sense to me. I see it everyday. I read somewhere that it is just part of how the alpha male establishes his dominance over the other males. Okay, fine, one thing though…why is it the females that are doing it most of the time?

And it seems that even the nerdiest of high schoolers gets the basic logistics of sex right. (even if they might never get a shot at using the information, at least until they go off to college with all the other nerds) but dogs are just ALL OVER THE PLACE! I try to be helpful…I tell the dogs:
‘Honey, that is the wrong end.’
‘You can’t really get anywhere with the side approach, but ‘A’ for effort.’
‘Eunice, you are a girl! Really!’
‘This is not a dating service!’
And back to the unaware of their own actual size: Scooter, the poodle of love, trying to woo a mastiff named Diamond. Such an optimist, he only can make it to her ankle bone.

And my all time favorite… the dog train. I’m sure you can picture that.

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